The Best Feeling in the World.

As an older sister, some of the best feelings in the world come from times shared with your siblings. Some of the worst feelings can come from that as well, I am sure. For me, my best friend is my brother. I have enjoyed so many great memories and wonderful moments growing up with him. In the last year or so he has become the person I talk to the most. He has consoled me when I have cried, laughed with me when I am happy and led me to the cross time and time again. I could not ask for a better brother!

Last October he started dating his first and only girlfriend, Sarah. Before he told her he wanted to pursue her he came and talked to me. He asked me if I would pray for his decision and he asked me to tell him if I felt like God was telling me anything. Honestly, at first I was not too sure. I had selfish thoughts such as, "he can't date her! she lives in Missouri!" The last thing I want is for my brother to move back to Missouri when I have plans on staying in Colorado! And as much as I liked Sarah, I just was not sure that they made a good couple. They had a lot of things in common and they seemed to make great friends but a couple...? I just wasn't sure. But I told him that I would pray for him and let him know what I thought. Days went by and then weeks and I had not heard one single sign or urgency from God to tell Zach to not follow through with his plans to talk to Sarah. As much as I wanted to tell him that I had, I couldn't. So the weekend came where he was going to fly to Missouri for camp and he was planning on talking to her there. 

In January Sarah came to visit. The trip went well I suppose. I felt like leading up to it that that trip would tell a lot for me. I knew these two had been able to carry on a relationship long distance but I wasn't sure how it would be with her around and I wasn't sure how I would feel with her around. The trip was not bad by any means. However, most of the time I did not know where my place was. I felt like I needed to give them their time alone and so I pretty much left them alone and kept to myself. I began to feel left out and like I was being replaced so to speak in my brother's life. This was a feeling that I did not life. AT ALL. So I had a little chat with Sarah one of her last days here and I just told her how important Zach was to me. He is my only brother I told her and whoever he ends up with...well she will be my only sister in law and I want us to be friends. So, I told her it was important that her and I were friends. She said that made her feel SO much better which made me feel better as well but I still wasn't 100% sure how I felt yet.

I am writing about all of this and thinking through all these things because Sarah just left tonight from her second trip here but this time she took Zach with her. Her and my friend, Veronica came into town last Wednesday and Veronica stayed until Sunday night and then Sarah stayed until tonight. Her and Zach went back to Missouri and he is there until next Thursday. This trip was much different than the last. I don't know if it was because Veronica was here at the beginning and so it was really natural for us all to hang out or if God has just begun to change things in my heart towards Sarah. But either way, I really enjoyed her time here. I had some good laughs and conversations with her. And most importantly, I was able to see how happy my brother is with her. One of the best feelings in the world is seeing your brother happy. When I dropped them off at the airport tonight I had such mixed emotions. I was sad to see Sarah go, sad to see my brother growing up and yet happy to see how happy is with her.

Sharing emotions and special moments with friends and family is special but sharing them with a sibling is something that is unlike anything else. The bond between a brother and sister is so special and so different than any other bond and having a bond like that...well, it's the best feeling in the world.